Children are our teachers

I slept very little last night since my 2 almost 3 year old slept with me. She was all over the bed and rolling on top of me. I eventually went upstairs at 5am and lay on the couch in hopes to get some sleep before she woke up on fire and ready to burn rubber.

I did eventually dose off for about a half hour and then the storm began. She woke up whining because she wanted to watch Coraline and when it was not on TV this really got her going. Than it went into finger paints and wanting to do them in that very instant when I wanted to wait for the evening when we would be indoors.  Than it turned into rolling around on the floor writhing and whining because I would not let her finger paint because I preferred to take her outside to play. Finally, she was upset because the summer dress I allow her to sleep in was not appropriate for outside attire. I gave her pants and a top which turned her world upside down! THAN it turned into laughing and smiling while she washed dishes (Washing dishes seems to be fun for her so since it will be similar to pulling teeth when she is a teenager I will grab what I can).

As all this was going on, a classmate of mine was on the phone observing from the other end. He observed the loud crying and then the calm demeanor as she washed dishes. He noted that she went from one emotion to the next instantaneously.  I had to laugh because internally I was thinking "wow, she just displays externally what I feel internally!"

I find the joys of parenting truly come in the lessons they show us about ourselves. In the past, withholding emotions was a big pattern for me. For years I would withhold feelings in attempts to protect myself and others from experiencing my emotions. The ironic twist to this withholding is that I was also withholding from receiving love at the deepest levels available to me. I was withholding joy and I was keeping all the heavy emotions stuck within my body. She was clearly not holding anything in and was also able to easily and gracefully experience joy and love.

Children are natural leaders because they live their truth out loud until we teach them not to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

I sat down for the short second I had and asked myself what was being reflected back to me. I realized that as her teacher, guide, and parent I was here to show her how to effectively express emotions. I doubt I would get too far by falling on the ground crying and whining and throwing myself around to get what I want (though I feel like it sometimes and it would be fun to see others' reactions) but at the same moment it has not been effective holding in all my emotions. I realized the key was to be present to my emotions and express them in a manner that was healthy and loving while still honoring myself. By doing this, I will in turn naturally teach my daughter to do the same.

In truth the child and parent are a team, and if we allow them, our children will lead us back to our truth by living their truth out loud.

By the way, after getting her sleeves wet from washing the dishes she went down stairs to change and returned with her dress on over her pants. Now that is leadership of self!

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