In this moment...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRKlrQZZ82g

My favorite line in this clip is "Dreams, they are never in the place you expect them to be."  I believe the truth is they are actually divinely gifted in the moments.  I know for me, I was always looking into the future to see how I could make my dreams come true. If I work harder, I will get my trip to Italy. If I keep increasing my education and training, I will manifest my dream career. If I move to LA, my business will grow by leaps and bounds.  The truth is my dreams reside within each moment I choose to live authentically.

This morning I was allowing my incessant thoughts to weigh me down so I naturally decided television would be the most useful form of distraction. Who needs meditation when I have Shirley Valentine at my fingertips?  When the attached scene came on, I resonated with the emotions she was expressing.  I too have had the feeling I was living a small life yet my dreams are so big and then a memory emerged.  

I was in my late teens hiding out in my room from parents and pondering life (typical teenage behavior). I must have been straightening up because I remember turning away from my dresser after putting something away when I was hit with a "knowing". I knew in that moment I was here on earth to do something really important but forgot what that thing was. It was on the tip of my tongue but when I asked myself “what are you here to do?” I received an empty reply.  Frustrated, I decided to spend the rest of my time focusing on this "knowing" with no answer and looking outside myself to discover what it was I was here to do.

I am now 37 so you can see I have spent a lot of time pondering this thought.  The only hint I received on my purpose was to be of service by assisting others to heal.  No information on how I was to do this. However with this simple knowledge, I went to school and moved on to become a social worker. I learned quickly in this field you cannot assist others in healing if they tell you they are not ready to heal or do the work it takes to heal.  Hmmm, I realized that this path must not have been my true purpose since I felt drained, disconnected and dejected. I completely cut myself off from social services and headed right for the construction industry. My "knowing" tagging along taunting me and reminding me this is not the healing service I am present on earth to do.

Geeezzzzz! Time is wasting away and I still have not figured out my purpose! I kept looking under rocks, up trees, in the acceptance of others and continued to turn up empty handed. This is getting frustrating, draining, and increasing my anxiety because time is dwindling and I still have not begun what I came here to do!

I wonder if anyone else experiences this. I hear the Angels gently laugh in my ears and tell me in a lovingly sarcastic tone..."You are not alone my dear child!" By the way, Angels/Spirit has a great sense of humor  along with deep love for us and compassion for our human experience.

As I watched this clip, I am reminded of this nagging purpose and wondered why I could not find it with ease and grace!

Ahhhh! I have had the answer the entire time but was looking in all the "wrong" places.  I was looking in my mind, looking outside myself to others, or looking into the future so of course the answer continued to elude me. The answer resides in my heart and from there my heart will guide my mind, body and soul towards my purpose. My purpose is to assist others in their healing process by moving through my own. 

I want to encourage you to work your healing process with ease, grace, self-compassion and lots of self-love while remaining in the moment and always knowing in those moments your dreams are coming true.  Also, I encourage you to place all those limiting beliefs associated to time, age, magnitude, and worth where they belong….in the spiritual trashcan for Spirit to take and heal. I have heard of 9 year old changing the world and 80 year old manifesting their dreams.  What is stopping you from living your dreams authentically in this moment?

Children are our teachers

I slept very little last night since my 2 almost 3 year old slept with me. She was all over the bed and rolling on top of me. I eventually went upstairs at 5am and lay on the couch in hopes to get some sleep before she woke up on fire and ready to burn rubber.

I did eventually dose off for about a half hour and then the storm began. She woke up whining because she wanted to watch Coraline and when it was not on TV this really got her going. Than it went into finger paints and wanting to do them in that very instant when I wanted to wait for the evening when we would be indoors.  Than it turned into rolling around on the floor writhing and whining because I would not let her finger paint because I preferred to take her outside to play. Finally, she was upset because the summer dress I allow her to sleep in was not appropriate for outside attire. I gave her pants and a top which turned her world upside down! THAN it turned into laughing and smiling while she washed dishes (Washing dishes seems to be fun for her so since it will be similar to pulling teeth when she is a teenager I will grab what I can).

As all this was going on, a classmate of mine was on the phone observing from the other end. He observed the loud crying and then the calm demeanor as she washed dishes. He noted that she went from one emotion to the next instantaneously.  I had to laugh because internally I was thinking "wow, she just displays externally what I feel internally!"

I find the joys of parenting truly come in the lessons they show us about ourselves. In the past, withholding emotions was a big pattern for me. For years I would withhold feelings in attempts to protect myself and others from experiencing my emotions. The ironic twist to this withholding is that I was also withholding from receiving love at the deepest levels available to me. I was withholding joy and I was keeping all the heavy emotions stuck within my body. She was clearly not holding anything in and was also able to easily and gracefully experience joy and love.

Children are natural leaders because they live their truth out loud until we teach them not to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

I sat down for the short second I had and asked myself what was being reflected back to me. I realized that as her teacher, guide, and parent I was here to show her how to effectively express emotions. I doubt I would get too far by falling on the ground crying and whining and throwing myself around to get what I want (though I feel like it sometimes and it would be fun to see others' reactions) but at the same moment it has not been effective holding in all my emotions. I realized the key was to be present to my emotions and express them in a manner that was healthy and loving while still honoring myself. By doing this, I will in turn naturally teach my daughter to do the same.

In truth the child and parent are a team, and if we allow them, our children will lead us back to our truth by living their truth out loud.

By the way, after getting her sleeves wet from washing the dishes she went down stairs to change and returned with her dress on over her pants. Now that is leadership of self!

Please contact me at spiritualadviser444@gmail.com or 310-318-4782 to set up coaching or intuitive sessions.